BACON!

I have to start this off by giving credit to someone who inspired me to write this blog. One of my favorite comedians is Jim Gaffigan. Jim is always talking about bacon (must drive the wife crazy). I do agree with Jim on all aspects of his bacon theories and would now like to add some of my own.

The greatest invention known to mankind is not the wheel (sorry, wheel lovers). So, if it's not the wheel (you are asking) what is it? How can you not know... it BACON!!!

Bacon is the most versatile food product in our solar system. It's grown on farms and distributed to every grocery store imaginable. Just think about it, bacon can be eaten by itself as a snack, a breakfast food, a late night snack, or try a bowl of bacon while watching your favorite movie. Let's face it, bacon is damn good! Whoever invented bacon needs a statue (possibly made out of bacon) dedicated to them.

Add Bacon to anything and it tastes 99.9% better (don't quote me on this; might be 100%). Just the other day I dropped a piece of bacon on a sock. Without thinking I picked up the sock and started eating it.. and to my amazement I didn't even realize I was eating a sock til' a couple minutes later when I looked down. It was the bacon that sent good tasty thoughts to my brain.. it could not make out the sock for the bacon.. boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Plan and simple: Bacon dropped on anything or wrapped around anything can almost guarantee a great tasty snack. Wrap bacon around your favorite meat (ham, bologna, sausage, liverwurst) and you are in for a delicious explosion of meaty flavors. Take for instance the often hated eggplant.. just fry up some eggplant and once you put some bacon on the top of it and chomp down you won't even realize you are eating eggplant. This is the power of bacon.. behold it's wonder!

I will now start off with my favorite bacon products: 1) bacon by itself (didn't have to think about this one) 2) bacon, lettuce, tomato with Miracle Whip (can be found on any diner menu or easy enough to make yourself) , 3) pizza with bacon (sometimes the pizza place will give you a 'free' piece while waiting; just ask), 4) kevin bacon (ok.. that's embarrassing.. why did I say that), 5) Slim Jims (for that bacony flavor), and 6) bacon wrapped around filet mignon (maybe that one should come before Kevin Bacon.. I'll have to think about it).

Now here are bacon products in which I'd love to see come to light.. listen up big corporations! This is what we want! 1) Bacon Beer (you can have your bacon and drink it too!), 2) Bacon Ice Cream (with real bacon bits), 3) Bacon coffee (breakfast in your coffee; how convenient), 4) Bacon cigars (smoke your bacon.. literally), 5) Bacon toilet paper (ok.. that one might hurt), 6) Bacon smell spray for your car (everyday could be bacon day), Bacon licorice (yummy), 7) Kevin Bacon (now wait.. he already exists.. sorry), 8) Bacon Chap stick (protect your lips against those who hate bacon.. or Kevin Bacon), and last but not least ... 9) Bacon outlet centers (where you can get all your bacon products in one place).

So with that I am off to eat some bacon... as I suggest you go and do.. get to it!!!

*update: see photo - I did actually find a bacon flavored beer*